The Bridge of Sighs

​While the world is holding its breath, it is time for a SIGH…
My trip to Venice a few years ago remains one of my fondest memories. The city is a mix of beautiful buildings and meandering walkways, calming waterways, an impressive history which goes back over 1200 years, great food and wine and is engaged in a never-ending balancing act with nature in order to stay above water. One of my personal highlights is the Bridge of Sighs. It derives its English name from the 19th century suggestion that prisoners used to sigh as they walked from the Doge’s palace to the prisons across the enclosed walkway over the canal. My free interpretation of these sighs is that they were a deep reflection on life brought about by a dramatic change.

My sister used the word S.I.G.H. as an effective acronym for her child as a reset button at the end of the day and to manage anxiety. I have successfully used the simple process on myself and close friends and family and believe it may be of value to you, especially in these stressful and uncertain times.
Much of our daily life is based on rituals and it is not often that we change our routines or add new ones to enhance our quality of life. Each one of us has our own end of day moment, when we feel the day has been concluded and it is time to retire to the night as a break before the new day. How good that break is, often depends on our state of mind before ending the day. I invite you to try the following short steps to deliberately conclude the day and prepare yourself for a fresh start the next morning.
Find a quiet and safe place in which to reflect. Imagine seeing yourself from another room, through a window, or what you might look like if you were on TV. A favorite image of mine is to visualize seeing myself on a bridge watching the water below flow by as the constant stream of all that happens. Now take a really deep breath, and let it out a long sigh … then think about four aspects of your day using the word S.I.G.H. as an acronym: What was a Success, what was an Improvement opportunity, what can I be Grateful for and what can I Hope for tomorrow and the future.

Take another deep breath and let out a cleansing S.I.G.H.!
​
SUCCESS: Think of anything that you enjoyed, that you managed or did well and would gladly do again. Something either small or big - a nice chocolate or conversation with a friend, completing something that has been overdue, whatever you deemed to have been a worthwhile experience during your day. On the really stressful days when it is hard to remember anything positive, it may help to focus on the smallest successes.
IMPROVEMENT Opportunity: What would you have done differently if you had a chance to do it over again: Something you acted on, said or perhaps did not do when you had the opportunity? What would you have changed, if you could, to have had a greater impact on yourself and others? Most importantly, with what you know now, how would acting differently have changed how you feel?
GRATEFUL: What do you have, or did you receive that you either did not have to work for, or is the result of long-term choices such as lifestyle and habits, something you may have that is special and a privilege that you often forget about? This does not have to be specific to the day and is a great chance to remember things you take for granted - think, for example of physical and mental health, enough food, a place to live, family, friends, etc.
HOPE: What can I hope for tomorrow, the next week, further along. Hope is not an expectation, as expectations are based on predictability. We are certainly currently living in a heightened emotional state of consternation and randomness. This version of hope focuses on how and what you want to be tomorrow, whether things change or not. Keep it simple and achievable as a basis for growth and development.
Take a deep breath and let out another cleansing SIGH…

You may notice that the first 2 reflections (“Success” and “Improve”) focus on the specific day’s events and more immediate actions, while the last 2 (“Grateful” and “Hope”) are guiding elements for managing whatever comes your way. It is not uncommon for the “Grateful” and “Hope” thoughts to remain similar each day or over a longer period. This end of day exercise is designed to be a simple process to relieve stress and reset your mind for the next day, so do not overthink it. It is even more powerful when you do it together with your loved ones in the form of a short story, as this creates the space for their minds to walk through the experience. 

About the Author: Hercules Bothma is a Certified Senior Advisor to promote quality living and care options, and sustained relevance for elders.  In addition to his drive for advocating for senior relevance in society, he has a passion for appreciating complexity and making tough decisions.